Just so you know.

  Only in the Philippines could you manage to fill up your stomach at the price range of 5 to 50 pesos, quite economical huh? Pinoys are most know for our ingenuity and resourcefulness, We are also know for our excellent cooking and the love for anything food related. Thus producing varieties of excellent tasting cuisine. Some would find the looks distasteful but don’t let it fool you, the health awareness of Pinoys towards these street foods have improved through time because people have now gained consciousness on the food’s cleanliness and hygiene. Now I list down my top 10 best tasting street foods that are abundant in the metro.

10. ISAW

Skewered chicken or pork intestine grilled and brushed with marinate at same time until cooked and perfectly red. This savory dish is best with a sweet sauce with/or spiced vinegar. A stick could cost one from 5 to 10 pesos each. Although to anyone who’ve tasted this delectable exotic food it’s impervious to settle for just one stick. No street corner stall is complete without this. Isaw, next to the actual pork BBQ might be the best seller for the tambays on every streets of manila.

9. CHICHARON BULAKLAK

May the gods have mercy on anyone who feast on this heart attack inducing dish. As the saying goes “Most of the best stuff is bad for you” and this here could be the baddest yet most delectable and sinful dish one will ever taste in the streets of manila. This kind of chicharon is not to be confused with the normal deep fried pork skin but rather this is a deep fried pork intestines smothered in salt and also best with vinegar. Of course one must keep in moderation in consuming this gratifying cuisine. A definitely must try. Literally not for the weak hearted though.

8. FISH BALL

Although this one is not originally Pinoy, the filipino fishball common on the streets of Manila is different from its Chinese origin. It’s less extravagant compared to the Chinese style. A pinoy fishball is a mixture of fish meat and flour then deep fried. I personaly prefer this salty treat dipped in sweet sauce, the mixture of taste is just incomparable to anything. and the cost for each piece is just .50 pesos. This is the cheapest street food making it one of the most popular of all, and considering the delicousness of course.

7. KWEK KWEK

It hard not to notice these orange goodness on any food stalls one encounters on the street. Kwek-kwek is a boiled quail egg dipped in orange batter then fried. Like fishball I personally prefer these babies dipped in sweet sauce with a tiny mix of vinegar. What baffles me though is why orange? Every single vendor have them only in orange coating why not try other colors? Well i’ve asked around and they say mainly because the orange is easily spotted and it can induce craving, what I say is, It worked!

6. TENGA

Tenga, in english is ears. So basically tenga is BBQ’d chopped pig’s ear. Like chicharon bulaklak too much of this would have you rushed to the ER in no time. Although hard to resist, moderation is a must on attacking this chewy savory slab of fat. Goes very well with vinegar. I also prefer this as viand to my rice for it’s savory taste and crusty texture. Just be sure to have a nice long run after consuming these yet another sinful dish.

5. ADIDAS

Adidas is chicken feet. *ba dum tss* whoever invented the name must had a good laugh about it. But seriously Adidas is marinated until the bones in the fingers are soft enough and be made edible and then grilled. I was first hesitant in trying this one out, I mean it’s a foot. No one in their right mind would take a bite on such grotesque. I have to say though that it tastes good. Its savory and sweet and also a bit chewy especially the fingers. Now it’s one of my favorite. Who knew something so bizarre would be so delectable.

4. PROVEN

Proven or short for Proventriculus is a part of the insides of a bird near the intestines. Only bird species have them. Well birds and insects to be exact. But I’m pretty much sure what they sell on the streets are chicken innards. It’s prepared by covering it in cornstarch and deepfried until crispy on the outside while the innards is a bit chewy salty on the inside. This one hasn’t been invented long ago but rather a new entry to the long list of the variations of pinoy street foods, though only new, it had spread like wildfire from one stall to another and was a sure hit to filipinos since then. I Personally like it as it is and not dipped in anything because it just has the right taste of saltiness and savor.

3. BETAMAX

Betamax is curdled chicken or pig’s blood and cut in rectangular pieces resembling an old VHS tape thus the name Betamax. It’s served skewered in BBQ sticks and grilled. The taste is hard to explain and definitely a must try. Melts in the mouth and best sprinkled with spiced vinegar with lots of chili pepper.

2. BALUT

That’s the least obscene image that i could find. One thing about balut is you either you love or you hate it you can’t in the middle and be like “meh..”. To be a true blooded pinoy one must have experience tasting this oh so bizarre food and either be repulsed or like it. A balut basically is a fertilized duck egg boiled alive. Inside it is: the yolk, that white inedible hard stuff, the tasty liquid god knows what is and why it’s there, and of course, the infamous embryo. Although for most westerners eating balut is regarded as taboo, the Filipinos still continue to enjoy it with no guilt whatsoever. But with this tasty forget about guilt and pass me the vinegar.

1. DIRTY ICE CREAM/SORBETES

Now enough with the salty stuff and let’s move on to dessert. If you grew up in the Philippines, your childhood isn’t complete if you did not but from any manong sorbetero in your vicinity. Dirty ice cream or sorbetes has a distinct taste different from the commercialized ice cream. The primary flavors are mainly: Chocnut, Cheese, Ube, Mango, and Vanilla sometime an imitation of cookies and cream. I always remember buying these and had it put in a bun like a burger and that would make my day.

So the other night I was on twitter and saw a trending topic, #jerklines. I assume it was first started by a radio personality Sam YG who host Boys Night Out which i may say i love listening to. So yeah basically that night i read about twits coming in from every soul in the country I can’t help to notice that each one had a fair share of experience from jerks and cunts one way or another in an never ending quest for love. Needless to say I was a victim too. So now I write the top ten jerkiest jerk lines for me.

10. “You deserve someone better than me.”

Translation: “I deserve someone better than you”. Okay, maybe this it’s not all him/her to blame. Maybe a tiny part of the problem is with you too, but whatever, if that’s the case maybe they can tell it to their face disregarding what the other one would feel. And maybe next time if you felt that you deserve someone better, you date the woman with breasts the size of the moon or a man with biceps large as a horse and would eventually leave you for someone else BETTER! and it gets worse…

9. “It’s not you, It’s me.”

THIS. Some unoriginal cheap ass way to get rid of someone.  No one in the world has never heard, been said to, or in some cases had said this infamous lines of douchebaggery at its finest. I was always believe that if you’re gonna kill something, kill it with mercy, but opposed from what this phrase is trying to make the recipient feel, I’m not really sure if there’s even a tiny bit of kindness dispensed on that line. Well at least this isn’t as harsh as…

8. “Even if I was doing it with her/him I was still thinking of you.”

SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT AFTER SAYING THAT?! A PAIR OF PUPPY EYES READY TO FORGIVE YOU? well buddy there’s a circle in hell that’s specifically made for special kinds of asses like you. seriously, i hope any one who throws this line expecting for absolution should not be allowed to breed for any reason whatsoever. Just the fact that people like this are still breathing is a scare to the future of human existence.

7. “I just realized that I don’t want to be attached.”

Well I just realized that i don’t want to see your head attached to your body. I hope you don’t mind me making that happen. But seriously, you don’t make someone like you and say this to them. That is so wrong on so many levels. Someone has make sure first if they wanted to really be “attached”. I mean i don’t even get it, “attached”? kinda reminds of the human centipede though. attached.

6. “I need to find myself.”

Good luck with that twat. Maybe you could try inviting Dora with you. I hear she’s a great finder of lost, useless stuff. Although contrary to that, I believe you’ve already found yourself because you’re so full of it. Here’s a picture of an ass maybe it could help you on finding yourself!

5. “I lied cause i didn’t want to hurt you.”

What I don’t know won’t hurt me, eh? What do you think i feel now huh?! CUNT. IMO though those who say this are weaklings. Trying to twist the situation and make themselves feel like their the good people, better cut them out of your life before they make it right in their heads. Asses. Remember no secret is never revealed so better speak up now my child or forever get the fuck away from me.

4. “I like them, but i like you more.”

Keep your eyes out for this phrase, this could be said in so many ways you don’t even notice that they’re playing with you. Is this suppose to boost my self esteem? Be cautious of that one you’re talking about? Please. The way I understand this is, “Look, I fancy alot of girls/guys. And I’m pretty much sure the dig me too. So many i think i’m having chlamydia just by  trying to count them in my head, so you better get your shit together cause if i don’t find you attractive anymore you better get packing. capiche?” NEVER FALL FOR THIS.

3. “I was just waiting for the right time.”

Like no. 5, these guys wants to make you think like they’re so concerned about you, waiting for the right time to say something they’ve done awful or just trying end things with. They just couldn’t find the right time cause your’e either too happy or too depressed at the moment and comes the day when it is you who finds out everything. And they’d be like, the right moment didn’t happen. DOUCHE there is no right moment in giving out a bad news. Just let it out in open and let fate decide. And by the way, that’s the name i gave for my right knuckle.

2. “I’ve already apologize to you. What else do you want me to do?”

uhm. HANG YOURSELF? Saying sorry doesn’t erase the fact that you did something wrong, you know? Falling for this line would just submit you to just force yourself to forgive them every freaking time. and you lose respect for yourself. don’t ever ever fall for this. ever. consequences: Every time they screw over, you’d end up forgiving too soon and before you know it you would be believing anything he’d be saying.

1. “Let’s be friends?”

ahh. the creme de la creme of all douche lines. One way of saying, I moved on, i found another. But just be there in case I need to bang someone easy to reach and after that i’d just throw you off the door again. This is commonly used by by people with no legitimate reason whatsoever to break up.

There my top 10 jerk lines. Cheers to the people who give love a bad name! To the men who just cannot settle and to the women who must have the urge to do everything in sight. Our middle finger gives you a standing ovation. Karma has you in its list and it’s only a matter of time before it come sneaking at you.

This doesn’t apply to everyone though, just to those dicks and cunts living a life of absolute douchebaggery. I hope no one is offended and if otherwise just message me. Good riddance ya’ll.